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Newburgh mom embarks on suicide awareness mission

Evansville Courier & Press - 12/25/2016

Dec. 24--Brody's Lofton's last communication -- a goodbye apology text to his mother shortly before he committed suicide -- indicated he suffered from the "pain of life."

But up until then, Lori Sullivan Lofton says there were no signs that her 12 year-old was struggling.

"He was just a happy kid -- people have asked me, 'Was he was bullied; was it girlfriend issues?' ... Brody's personality was just like mine," Sullivan Lofton, 49, said recently. "Very outgoing, never met a stranger, very up, the center of attention all the time. But unfortunately, maybe he was the center of attention because he was so hurt on the inside, and we didn't know it."

Not knowing the motivation behind her son's death several months ago adds to her pain, Lofton said. But now she is pushing more awareness of youth suicide and mental illness.

She has started working with the volunteer HOPE Team -- Helping Other People Everyday -- and is raising money in her late son's name for Youth First Inc. From the HOPE Team, she learned that Brody was at an elevated risk for suicide because his father killed himself in 2009.

"People have asked me, 'Do you think Brody suffered from mental illness like his dad?' and I look at them and say, 'OK, he took his life at the age of 12.' He definitely wasn't what we see as normal in that capacity," she said.

The HOPE Team consists of mental health professionals and people such as Lofton, known as survivors of suicide. The aim of the organization is to reach out to loved ones in the immediate aftermath of a suicide to offer support. Lofton can't be an official member of the group yet because it requires a two-year grieving period.

She hopes that pushing for awareness leads to needed, open conversations about mental health.

"There are a lot of people out there who suffer from mental illness and for some reason it's just kind of pushed under the rug," she said. "It's really sad that it's the year 2016 and people still think that they shouldn't be able to talk to somebody (about mental illness) and things like that."

Lofton said there was never any doubt she wanted to be an advocate to prevent other families from going through what she has experienced. Several people have reached out to her for help because they know her story, a role she relishes. When asked if there is anything that students should be doing, Lofton said simply to be a vigilant peer and friend.

"If someone comes to you, or you hear people talking about how they don't want to live or that they'd rather die than take a test again -- those crucial words -- people are saying those because they are reaching out," Lofton said.

Lofton is also raising money through the Brody Lofton Suicide Awareness Fund. Her goal is to raise $10,000 by the end of the year, which will then be presented to Youth First Inc. to help fund additional counseling time at Warrick County schools.

The money Lofton will be spent directly by Youth First on additional social work time and prevention efforts in Warrick County, said Davi Stein-Kiley, a vice president with the organization.

Warrick County School Corp. Superintendent Brad Schneider said school officials "work with experts in the field" about how to address suicide and other issues, and said upcoming events are planned. He said counselors and teachers are always on the lookout for students who appear to be struggling.

"Teachers do report students who are not acting like themselves or expressing some difficulties or struggles. When you're dealing with young adolescent kids, that's a real thing, and they have those issues to work through," Schneider said.

Youth First also does classroom presentations throughout the year in schools. Many of those sessions are already scheduled, but teachers and administrators can also reach out to the organization if they would like to bring a session to their classrooms, said Stein-Kiley. Youth First's message focuses on the QPR method -- Question, Persuade and Refer.

Stein-Kiley thanked Lofton for her work.

"We are really, really grateful for her," she said.

The funds raised by Lofton have come from a variety of sources: Some came courtesy of people who just wanted to express their condolences for Brody's death. A fellow middle school neighbor started selling T-shirts in Brody's honor. There were fundrasiers put on by Apricot Lane Boutique and Riviera Mexican Grill. Both businesses are owned by friends who wanted to help out, Lofton said.

The shirt, designed by Jaye Collier, a girl who was a grade ahead of Brody Lofton, includes a reference to Psalm 50:15, which reads "And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me."

More than 900 shirts have been sold so far, Lofton said. To order a shirt, visit the 5015 Facebook page.

Most recently, Lofton's group was named the winner of the 12 Days of Caring contest put on by WSTO-96.1 FM. That annual competition netted $1,000 for the new organization. Lofton said she is close to reaching her $10,000 goal and wants to present a check to Youth First for that amount by the end of year. Even after that, though, she said she will continue to raise money for the cause.

The public can make donations to the Brody Lofton Suicide Awareness Fund, which Lofton opened, at any First Security Bank branch in the area.

Though it's been therapeutic for Lofton to jump right into an advocacy role, Stein-Kiley said she realizes that might not be the case for everyone. She encourages those affected by suicide to find a support group and not be afraid to talk about their grief. Stein-Kiley is also a member of the HOPE team.

"We encourage people to really do their own healing and not feel like they have to be an advocate and an active voice, unless they want to do that," Stein-Kiley said. "... We encourage people to find their ways to do their remembrance work."

She also advised that the holidays can be particularity difficult for suicide survivors.

"This is a time when there are just so many memories with Christmas and the holiday time, and everyone wants that to be perfect," Stein-Kiley said.

GETTING HELP

For people having suicidal thoughts, or friends of those who might be in trouble, there are several options. There is a local 24-hour hotline run by Southwestern Behavioral Healthcare Inc., that can be reached at 812-422-1100. There is also national line that can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. There is also a crisis text line that can be reached at 741-741.

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(c)2016 the Evansville Courier & Press (Evansville, Ind.)

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